I Believe in You, James
by rusherqueen69
Summary: ON HIATUS BECAUSE I'M REWRITING THE WHOLE FANFICTION - James Diamond and Logan Mitchell are in love, but when James wants to have sex in an elevator... JAGAN, KOGAN and KAMES.
1. Chapter 1

_**Logan**_

James pressed the button of the ground floor and the elevator started going down.

"Let's pause it for a while..." - he said. Then he used his forearm against the buttons and the elevator stopped. "We've got five minutes." - he continued - "Five minutes before the elevator starts working on well again. It should be enough."

"No, James, I don't want to have my first time in an elevator!" - I replied.

"Oh, look, five dollars on the floor!" - I looked and I couldn't see anything. Then he pushed me to the floor. I looked at him afraid while he was taking off my pants.

"Don't be afraid... You love me, don't you, Logiebear? So trust me!" - those words sounded cynical. He was calling me Logiebear while he was basically trying to rape me.

He started kissing my lips with his. Then he took off his dark blazer and his white shirt. Some seconds later we were both naked in front of each other.

"Please be gentle, James..." - I asked while his eyes were looking at mine. I was very nervous. And he too. His breathing denounced him. Air was entering and leaving his lungs very quickly.

"You have my word, Logan. I promise I'll be gentle with you." - he said while he was opening my legs.

"I love you, James..." - I replied while he was crossing his fingers with mine.

"Here I go..." - tell him while he was getting inside me. I left a sound leave my mouth.

"Am I hurting you?" - asked him being lovely again and looking worried. "If you want we can stop..."

"No, James, continue." - I ordered - "It hurts a bit, but It's good to have you inside me..." - I smiled and then he kissed my lips again.

* * *

The five minutes passed too much quickly for us, but we both had an orgasm and he ejaculated inside me. Lucky there was nobody in the ground floor wanting an elevator, so he could close the doors again and dress each other. Then we left the restaurant.

"Do you mind if we sleep together this evening, Logan?" - he asked.

"I would love to." - then I hug him with my arms while we were entering my apartment. We went directly to my bedroom.

He took off our shirts and I was down him again, like in the elevator, twenty minutes before.

"Want me to be your sex slave for tonight?" - I asked trying to tease him again, making him making out with me again and ejaculating inside me again.  
He get out of the bed.

"Stop saying those things, Logan, I don't like when you say that things. I prefer the timid Logan..." - he said. He was not being the dominant again. That James is the lovely James. Maybe the dominant James just needed a quickly five-minute sex in the elevator to become sweeter.  
I went next to him and hug him by back.

"Sorry, James. I will stop saying those things... I hope you don't get mad..."

I kissed his lips.

"I won't. You didn't know it."

He smiled and I kissed him again. Then we took out each other clothes.

"We should use a condom this time..." - he said while he was looking for one on his pants.

"But last time we didn't use one..." - I replied.

"We were really irresponsible, Logan, but especially me. You were a virgin, but I had sex with some women, so I might have a sexual disease I don't wanna infect you..."

He was right. I might not get pregnant, but I can become infected with one of those diseases.

After he found a yellow condom with pineapple smell on his pants, we put it and started going inside me again.

In the morning, I woke up with someone knocking on my door. When I was getting up and dressing James' underwear to feel his body again, I accidentally woke him up.

"Good morning, James..." - I greet him with a kiss. - "Someone's knocking at the door, I'll just see who is it."

"Hi, Logan..." - it was Kendall. He looked surprised by seeing me in underwear. - "Who's the lucky girl?"

"What do you want?" - I asked trying to avoid that topic. I still remember some years ago when me and Kendall were both fifteen that he confessed he was in love with me and I didn't wanna hurt his feelings, and now we're both twenty-one I still don't want to.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, I..."

"Hey, Logan, who's there?" - the voice of James interrupted Kendall. A few seconds later James was already behind me. "Oh, it's Kendall, hi!" - he greet him and started kissing my ears. Kendall was shocked but he was trying to hidden it. James' lips changed to my left ear. Then I felt his penis touching my ass. He was naked and had a bulge.

"I didn't know you were gay, Logan, sorry to interrupt!" - Kendall left the apartment and close the door.

"Why are you naked in the middle of my house?!" - I asked James - "It could be a woman!"

"We both know that Kendall's gay too, so it doesn't matter if he sees me naked..." - he replied.

"Kendall is still in love with me, James, for about six years now! I don't wanna hurt his feelings! Don't you understand that?"

"Sorry, but can we come back to the bed?"

"Get dressed and go away. I need to be alone for a while." - then I took off his boxers and I gave them back to him. He started looking to my penis. I had a boner. James got his hands closer to it.

"Don't do it! Go away!"

"You want it as much as I want it, Logan..." - he smiled teasing me.

"Go away! I won't say that again!"

"Let's make out again Logan... Just one more time, I know you really want it..." - he was getting closer me and started touching my legs.

"Leave me alone, James!" - then I used my right knee to hurt his genitals.

"That hurts!" - he was touching them and some little tears were starting to fall from his eyes.

"Get out of my house. Now."

He went to my bedroom, he got dressed and left the apartment, without saying any other word.

I got in my bed, trying to recover James' smell from the bed's sheets. He inside me. The best moments of my life in years. All ruined because of my idea of not hurting Kendall's feelings. Kendall. I have to explain him everything.

"Can you come here in an hour?" - I asked him by phone.

"Sure, Logan, but why? Is James still in there?"

"No, he left a minutes ago. Just come here, you'll understand if you come."

"Ok, I'll be there in one hour."

One hour and a half later Kendall was sited on my couch for about twenty minutes, and we've talked since that.

"That's why I didn't want you to see James, I didn't want you to see him because I didn't want to hurt your feelings..."

"Where's James now?"

"I don't know. I broke up with him."

Kendall's lips touched mine. They were hot. It was a hot kiss. Then his hands touched my neck and I used my hands to take his t-shirt off.

"Let's go to the bedroom..." - I said.

When we arrived he was already without pants and his bulge, almost as big as James' was touching my body. His eyes were crossed with mine and his hands were taking my last dressed clothes off.

"I'm sorry, Kendall, I can't have sex with you."

He didn't reply.

"I like you as my best friend but I don't love you. I love James and I should be with him now. I have to go and find him" - I said to him, taking out his arms from me.

We both left the apartment after we got dressed.

James opened the door right after the first "ding dong". He looked tired and his apartment was all a mess. Pizza boxes on the table, creaked alcohol bottles on the ground,...

"What are you doing here?" - James asked with a bottle of vodka on his right hand.

"I'm sorry, James. I was wrong. It's not my fault if Kendall is in love with me, so..."

"Go away, Logan. Go to Kendall's house and fuck with him! I don't wanna see you anymore!"

"You've been drinking!" - he was going to take the bottle to his mouth again when I tried to stop him. - "Stop drinking, you're already drunk, James!  
He tried to run with the bottle, but I pushed him to the sofa and the bottle end down to the floor and shattered in pieces.  
"Son of a bitch!" - said him. Then he tried to punch me, but he failed and then he pushed me back, this time against the mirror, which shattered in pieces, some of them covered with my red blood.

"You bastard!" - I said loudly while looking at the shattered pieces of mirror.


	3. Chapter 3

After that I pushed him back and I gave him a kick too,making he went against the dinner table and breaking it by the half. After that he pushed me back to the sofa and I pull him over and we finished fighting when his lips were covering mine.

* * *

The next morning I woke up on James' sofa, next to him.

"I'm sorry for yesterday, James..." - I started - "And also for the mirror and for the dinner table... I will pay for them."

"I'm sorry too, Logiebear." - he started crying - "Forgive me. I was to much rude with you yesterday..."

I touched his lips with my fingers.

"You don't have to apologise, you were drunk!"

He didn't reply.

"Let's stop talking about those sad things, James..." - I kissed him again, feeling his hot lips, even hotter than Kendall's.

"Do you wanna come to the bedroom, Logiebear?" - he asked.

I gave him my right hand and he navigated me to his bed. We didn't make sex, but we were both naked down the bed sheets and touching each other's body.

At five o'clock, James went to his part-time job on a clothing store, where he sells clothes and jewellery to young girls with his charm and muscles. I came back to my house and I phoned James, inviting him to come here. At half past midnight he was back.

"Hi, James, do you want to eat something?"

"Sure, Logan. I'm starving!" - he kisses me on my face.

"Go to my bedroom. Let me just finish dinner." - he smiles at me.

I went to the kitchen and took a big jar of ice cream.

"Dinner's ready!" - I announce to James, who's already inside my bed and, apparently, naked.

"Mnhamy! Ice-cream! My favorite!"

I enter inside my bed. James starts taking off my clothes. When I'm also naked, James took a spoon of ice-cream and gives it to my mouth. Then on my neck and he eats it with kisses. Later on my shoulders, then on my back, on my knees, on my stomach. After that it's my turn. I start with his shoulders and his ears, his mouth. His abdominal covered with blueberry ice-cream are delicious. Next part of his body is his penis, which now has a big boner. I put a spoon on my mouth and I start blowing it.

"You don't have to..." - the pleasure of receiving a blowjob assassins his words. His balls are next. After all that ice-cream, he puts on a condom, a strawberry smell and flavour one, and covers it with blueberry ice-cream and then he goes inside me, until we go to the Heaven of pleasure.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up and the rest of my bed it's empty. James was not there.

"James? Where are you?"

Silence. Then I see a piece of paper on the table, with "Logan" written in it.  
"I didn't want to woke you up, but I had to leave. I will call you when I finish. Love you, James."


	4. Chapter 4

_**James**_

"I'm here, Kendall. Like you asked." - I said while entering his apartment.

"I'm here in the kitchen, James."

"What do you want from me?"

"Sit on the table, please." - he didn't reply to my question - "Take your clothes out."

"What?!"

"Just take them out. NOW." - it was an order and I still don't know what the hell he wants. I stopped moving. Maybe he gives up.

"Want me to do it the good way or the bad way?" - Kendall picked his mobile phone - "Want me to phone Logan and tell him the whole truth about the car crash? Yes, you know which car crash am I talking about... The car crash that killed Carlos two years ago... You were the driver..."

"I'll obey you, but don't tell that to Logan, please! - I was naked in ten seconds and he was looking at my body. That horrible car crash... Me and Carlos were coming back from Las Vegas and we were invited to an illegal race. We participated, but we fell in a ravine. I escaped with just a few injuries, but Carlos didn't. He couldn't get off of the car in time and it exploded bit hitting a rock in the middle of the river. Police never found his body and I didn't go to jail because I told them Carlos was the driver.

"Get on the table." - Kendall ordered - "I will be right back."

Kendall went to his bedroom and returned with a whip on his right hand.

"Show me your back." - it hurts. The whip hitting my back hurts a lot, but not so much as the pain of loosing Logan. Kendall stopped. - "Let's try something different... I don't know... The whip doesn't leave much marks... Maybe a knife!"

"You're a psycho!"

"Shut up!" - he takes his t-shirt off and puts it in my mouth - "Now you're not able to say stupid things!"

My blood is painting his wooden dinner table. Blood coming out from my legs, the same legs Kendall stabbed with the knife. And I can't scream.  
"My bedroom is just over there. Let's go." - he kicked me out of the table. Some seconds later he kicked me again, this time to his bed.  
"I'm going to do you something you've never tried. Bondage with a rope."

He is going to rape me. The pain on my back with the whip. The blood on my legs from stabbing me with a knife. Now he's going to force me to have sex with me.

Pain, blood and sex. The three things I gave Logan the last two days. The pain by pushing him in the elevator. The blood from the mirror and the sex on his tied me with a rope to the bed. I can't escape him. He's inside me by now. It hurts, but I can't stand the pain of loosing Logan by Kendall telling him the truth about the accident. He's doing inside and outside movements in my ass. When I try to resist, we pushes my head into the sheets. Now he's doing the same movements, but insider. It hurts the double.

"Now, suck it!" - he takes his t-shirt from my mouth and pulls it into his penis and penetrates inside my it. Then he takes it out, covering my face with cum.

"Can I go home by now?" - I ask in tears.

"Just a little more. Show me your balls."

He push me again into the bed and opens my legs. Then he touches them.

"They are very beautiful... It would be a shame if someone SMASHES THEM!" - he grabs them with full strength. When he sees I'm gonna shout, he stops.

"Go home." - he orders - "I will call you to come again soon..."

After leaving his apartment, my ass still hurts. And my back and legs too, but I'll have to hidden my pain from Logan. the When I'm driving home, I receive a text message from Kendall. I open it. "I hope you enjoy our first time together... "

"What do you want from me?" - I reply.

"Oh, I just want to have my revenge. For killing my friend Carlos and for having sex with the guy I love for about six years now. Any more questions?"  
I didn't reply because it could be worst. Logan, I just..."

"Your voice sounds strange! You've been crying!" - he discovered my secret - "Where are you? I wanna be with you, I wanna hug you and also kiss you, so please tell me! We can even cry together if you want!"

I remove the battery from the phone and the call ends. For at least a week I can't be naked near Logan. Not before my injuries disappear. And there's also the problem with Kendall. He basically raped me. I should tell the police, but if he tells Logiebear?


	5. Chapter 5

_**Logan**_

"Logan!" - Kendall is calling my name from the outside of my apartment.

"Hey, what's up? Is there any trouble? 'Cause I don't know where James is and he sounded strange at phone... So I'm going outside to look for him."

"I'm sorry, Logan, I wouldn't say you this if it were not very important... But... Twenty minutes ago I saw James kissing a girl on the street..."

"What? That's not poss... He is..." - words stopped coming out from my mouth.

"And then they entered in my building, I think that girl's my neighbour..."

I started crying and I hugged Kendall. He was supporting me with his arms. I try to hidden my tears by putting my head on his chest. A few seconds later the central part of his shirt was wet.

"If he was cheating on you, then he doesn't love you enough to be part of your world..."

Kendall's right. If James would have broken up with me, in less than an hour he would find a girl who wanted to be his girlfriend. Not me.

"That's not your fault, Logan" - Kendall smiles at me, trying to make me a little happier - "James chose his way, now you just have to choose your own."  
It's good to be between his arms. Kendall's really my best friend. He supports me anytime I need.

"I hope I'm wrong, Logan..." - his smile disappears - "We should check it out to know if it were really James,... Let's go to my building and ask the doorman.

After a twenty minute driving because of the transit, we arrive at our destination.

"Mr. Drake, could you please tell us if this guy here in the middle" - Kendall points at James on a photo on his phone that me, him, James and Carlos took in Disney World in Florida, three years ago. - "Were here this morning?

"Yes, I saw that boy. I'm sure it was him, but why?"

I have to control myself to not start crying. Kendall was right. James was cheating on me with Kendall's neighbour.

"Thank you, Mr. Drake. That guy's our friend and..." - Mr. Drake's mobile beeps and me and Kendall decided to go to his apartment and maybe eat something.

"Do you prefer blueberry ice-cream or the cookie one?" - Kendall asks from the kitchen - "Oh, I also have pineapple ice-cream!"

"Cookie ice-cream, please." - blueberry and pineapple remembers me of James. That insolent cheater. I still love James, but I have to forget him.  
"Here's the ice-cream..." - Kendall gave my hands a bowl with two balls of the delicious cookie flavor ice-cream he has in his freezer. Dammit! Two balls! James again!

"Now we just need to listen to Adele's songs. Then we're ready to cry and send our problems to hell!" - he smiles again. Kendall's smile ia so beautiful. And his green eyes too. His big green eyes are getting closer to my brown eyes. So closer that our lips touch each other. Our second kiss. When Kendall touches my body, I don't resist. I'm hypnotized by his big green eyes...

The next morning I woke up with my head on his naked chest. We were in his bed.

"Good morning, Logan..." - he greets. I look at him. We're both shirtless. I can't also feel my clothes and my left feet touches his naked legs. A used condom was in his trash can. We had sex.


	6. Chapter 6

"We had sex?" - I ask, expecting an answer from Kendall's lips.

"Yes, we had. Why? You didn't enjoy it?" - Kendall's face was sad.

"It's just... I wasn't expecting to make out with someone so early..." - I reply - "I can't remember much, just your green eyes and your lips... But I'm happy, Kendall... How about you?"

"Last night was the best night of my life..." - I kiss his lips. I have too much pain in the heart, so maybe Kendall could helping me forgetting James.  
"What time is it?"

"Half past nine. But it's Saturday, so could you please stay a little longer with me?"

"Sure. If you want we can even have sex again, Kendall..."

He puts on a condom and gets up me and gently touches my legs. I involve his waist with them. He enters. It feels good. He starts doing slowly movements. It feels even better. He does an insider penetration. It hurts a little in the beginning, but it feels good in the end. Double crap! It remembers me of the sex sessions I had with James! And also of his big penis and how he gave me pleasure during our fucking moments! Dammit! Even during sex I remember of him!

"Are you feeling good?" - Kendall asks. He noticed that my mind was in other place. - "If you want we can stop!"

I start doing dirty sounds, to look that I'm near the orgasm. Kendall was really near it. I notice it when he does the last and the deepest penetration and I feel the blood circulating in his penis inside me. He took the condom out and puts it in the trash can. Now the trash can has two condoms. Then he kissed me and we felt asleep...

"Do you want to order a pizza?" - he asks with his mouth very close to mine.

"No, I don't like pizza very much." - I'm lying. It's my favorite food, but it remembers me again of the cheater. - "Can we order some japanese food?"  
"Sure. I love sushi!"

"Really? How much?"

"Of course not as much as I love you..." - he blows a kiss from his lips.

"It's good to know..." - I smile at him.

An hour later the food arrives.

"Can I give it to your mouth?" - he asks, trying to be romantic with me.

"My mouth's open!"

He comes to my side and tries to use the chop sticks to give me some sushi, but before the japanese speciality arrives at my mouth, Kendall noticed we were at a really sexual position on the sofa.

"Sushi is eaten raw, so it doesn't matter if it waits a little more..." - I try to tease him again. Maybe this time we can fuck without James in my mind. He understands my words and puts the sushi back in the box and the chop sticks on the table. He starts kissing my neck. His lips kissing my skin. It feels so good... Then my shoulders...

"It feels so good, James..." - holy fuck! Kendall heard it!

"What?" - he asks, maybe he didn't understand what I said.

"I said you're doing it very well and that it feels good..." - of course I'm lying. Again. Kendall doesn't deserve my less of honesty. Now it come out from my mouth. I have to be more carefull. I wonder where's James now. And what happened to him for being crying. I'm an horrible person. I'm fucking with my best friend to forget someone else...

"You and James ever..." - he hesitates - "Had sex on the sofa?" - again. This time because of Kendall, but James in my mind again. His beautiful brown hair, his beautiful brown and green eyes...

"No, why? Do you want to try it out?" - Kendall touches my leg.

"It might look... Strange, but a few days ago I saw a pornographic movie on TV and there the couple makes out on the sofa, so I thought we should try it, but if you don't want it..." - you're so innocent, Kendall... If I could chose to be in love with you or with the cheater James, of course I would chose you. That way I wouldn't be using your sexuality to forget him...

"Yes..." - I take him his Spider-Man t-shirt off. He takes my pants off... And a few minutes later we were both naked giving pleasure to each other...

"I have to go home, Kendall..." - I said while I was dressing my clothes back.

"Ok, but come back soon..."

When he was closing the door, I kiss him. A goodbye kiss. And then his door closes...

* * *

I was sited for about five minutes on my sofa reading _Fifty Shades of Gray_ for getting new ideas to new sexual methods to test with Kendall when a "ding dong" interrupts me.

"James?!" - it was him. His cheater's face was sad - "What are you doing here, you son of a bitch?"

"Why are you calling me that? Is that because I turn off your call?"

"You must have a really turnip-head, but I will explain it to you: Kendall told me he saw you yesterday entering his building with a girl, his neighbour."  
"That's not true, Logan! I sware!"

"Yes, it is! The doorman confirmed it! Why didn't you just break up with me?" - I can feel it. My tears are gonna fall. I've got to end this quickly.

"I really went to Kendall's building, but it was to talk with him!"

"Stop lying! We have nothing to discuss! Get out!"

"I'm not lying, Logan! I swear! I've never betrayed you! I love you, Logiebear!

"Stop it! Don't ever call me that again! - I start crying. - Dammit! Just leave and don't ever try to talk to me!  
"Please, believe me, Logan!"

"I'M IN LOVE WITH KENDALL!" - I scream, being a liar again, this time to James. We're basically doing the same thing. I lie to try to forget him. James lies to recover me. He starts crying too and then he leaves and I close the door. A few moments later I fall on the ground because I have too much pain in the heart.


	7. Chapter 7

_**James**_

My phone beeps. It's Kendall.

"Hi, I hope you know where motel Hollywood in the outskirts is, because in an hour I'll be waiting for you there on room 54." - the call ends. I don't wanna go. Kendall's going to torture me again.

"Hey, you look good, James. Here, sit on the bed." - it's an order and I have to obey him. - "Closer, closer, my love." - I wanna kill him. Calling me "my love"? He's going to torture me! His lips kiss mine. - "Don't be timid, James. You're not a virgin!" - he screams and slaps my face and I fall in the bed - "Cheating is bad for you and for the others... Look at Carlos' example: you told everyone he was the driver and I'm the only one who knows it. If I want I can tell everyone the truth, but as I enjoy your company and as I am your best friend, I won't say anything." - he smiles. - "But did someone authorize you to visit Logan? NO!" - Kendall gives me a kick in the genitals. It hurts, but I can't do anything. It remembers me when Logan used his knee to stop me. - "If you dare to visit him again without MY authorization, I will cut your balls out!"

I start taking my clothes out, trying to ignore Kendall's words and acts and hoping this time he makes it quicker, so I get home quicker and cry alone.  
He pulls me to the bed by being up. He kisses my ears. Now his feet are on the floor. I wanna kill him. I wanna stab him and whip him. He's a psycho. He's torturing me by doing anything I did to Logan. I haven't seen him for two days. I hope he's all right. If it were not for Logan, I would have killed myself since Kendall first rape me. I was taking off, my last pieces of cloth, when he touched my hand.

"Don't take out your socks... You look cute by having them." - he smiles at me again, while he was taking off his clothes. His skin was touching mine. He's up, I'm down. It's like a metaphor for my life. He has the control and I have to obey him. He turns my body. Then he holds a band and tie it to my head. Now I'm like a blind. Everything I see is dark. And I can't see his movements, just feel them when it's already too late.

"Now you can't see what I am doing! Don't you think it is teasing, sexy and exciting?" - no it's not.

Kendall touches my butt. "Does your ass still hurt from our last time?" - Yes, it still hurts - "I'll try to be more gentle this time, my love!" - now you won't. You haven't even started fucking me and by now I'm as afraid as last time after the whole sex.

"Use a condom, please" - I ask. It's the minimum he can do for me. The idea of him ejaculating inside me scares me.

"I don't think so."

He starts deeper and then he stops.

"Just a few seconds, my love" - I can't see what is he doing. I can feel it. A pillow is touching my face. Predictable. He's going to (fuck me while I am suffocating). The only problem is to know when he's going to do that. Now I can feel something metallic touching my hands.

"What are you doing?" - I risk.

"Surprise."

I can't move my hands. Handcuffs. And Kendall starts. The pain of having him inside me don't let me breath as I should and then during ten seconds my face is on the pillow. The last second he let's me breath again. Breath, pillow. Breath, pillow. Breath, pillow. Always the same.  
"I hope you're enjoying this marvelous moment, my love." - he says while taking his penis out of me. - "Turn around to the first position, please my love." - Now he can see my body but I can't see him. - "Here, follow me" - he gives me his hand and I feel his skin down me. - "We're on a chair, James." - I don't care, I just wanna leave.

He pulls me down, making me sit on his legs and his penis entering inside me again. It hurts. I still have the wounds in my legs and some blood started coming out from them.

"Want me to finger you?" - he asks. I don't say anything, I know he's going to do it anyway. He pushes me back to the bed. He's using three fingers against the wounds I have there. In can feel his fingers covered with my blood.

"Why don't you smile at me? I know you're enjoying it as much as I am..." - he touches my lips with his fingers and forces them to open - "Please, show me your perfect white teeth, love of my life!" - Oh, I've got a new nickname! But I hate it as much as "my love" when Kendall calls me that. I close my lips. I don't want him to see my smile, because obviously I'm not happy for being tortured. - "Well, if you don't want to show me by the good way, it will be by the bad way." - he punches my mouth. My teeth hurt. My lips are bleeding.

"I also want to have you inside me, James!" - what is he going to do? Forcing me to fuck in his ass? No. He licks my blood from my lips and swallows it. - "Now I will have a piece of you in my body. Circulating it. FOREVER".


	8. Chapter 8

"Why did I agree with those guys' invitation... - my hands touch Carlos' cold and stoned crave. An empty crave. - "If I hadn't you would be alive!" - I start crying, remember all the good moments we had. Disney World and Miami three years ago, four years since our visit to The Big Apple. - "Why aren't you here with me? - my hands are wet. Salt water from my eyes - "I need your support, Carlos! What can I do so I can get Logan back?" - his smile on my head. My memories torture me.

"Maybe you can't do nothing, my love..." - someone whispers at my right ear from behind. Kendall.

"You've never had sex in a graveyard, haven't you?" - he touches my ass. He's starting taking off my pants. I have to resist him. I'm not going to be raped for the third time. I prefer death. - "Dead bodies down your feet..."

"Stop, Kendall! Leave me alone!" - he doesn't let me get off from his arms.

He pushes me into Carlos' camp. I'm sorry Carlos. You shouldn't see this things. One of your best friends raping the other. Before he can get up me, I roll to the ground.

"Don't run from me, my love!"

"Leave me alone, Kendall! You are a psycho! Is this your revenge for the relationship me and Logan had? We have already broken up! He's all yours!" - he catches my arm. - "Leave me alone! Are you some kind of a stalker? How did you know I was here?"

"GPS, my love, from your mobile-phone..." - he tries to hug me. When his feet are not touching the ground I push him. He falls and his head hits Carlos' grave. I start to run. But he doesn't move. I go near. Near. Near. So near, that my left foot touches him.

"Are you all right, Kendall?" - what the fuck am I doing?! I should run!

When my foot stops touching Kendall's body, it returns full of blood.

"Oh, no..." - I killed Kendall! Blood is coming out from his head. I touch his chest. His heart still works. I remove his cell-phone to call an ambulance. Then I hidden myself between the trees, watching the paramedics taking his body.

"What do you want?" - Logan's still mad with something I haven't done, but I've got to tell him.

"Kendall's in the hospital. I've just got informed. I'll get you by car." - I turn off the call. This way Logan can't refuse it.

When I arrive Logan's street he's already waiting for me outside his building, with an openen black umbrella between his fingers. It started raining about five minutes ago. Logan opens the door and enters, after closing his umbrella.

"Hi, Logan."

"Let's go." - he avoids my eyes.

"You could be a little more nice, couldn't you?"

"My boyfriend might be dying and you are wanting me to argue about the way I reply to you?" - It hurt, but don't reply and hit the accelerator.  
We went to the hospital by the outskirts to avoid transit.

"I hope you know for where you are going..." - Logan says, provoking me.

"Shut up. Just more five minutes and we are there."

"I hope so, I can't stand you."

We feel something coming from down. I stop the car. The road is a desert. There's nobody around.

"What are doing?!" - he asks while I'm getting out of the car. A few seconds later he's with me, protecting me from the rain with his umbrella.  
"I think a tire might be drilled..."

"We don't time for that. I'll go by foot."

"You'll be all wet in less than a minute. Here I don't have another bored, so we might have to call a tow. Let's get back to the car."

"Good evening, my car stopped and..." - a thunder interrupts Logan's phone-call. - "Hey, can you listen me?" - He looks at his phone. - "I don't have signal..."

I look at mine.

"Me neither... I think we will have to stay here until the rains stops..."

He is quiet, looking qt his phone.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I should have told this a long time ago, but..." - it stops raining. - "Let's go."

"What were you saying? Please continue..." - he's being nice again.

"Let's go before it starts raining again."

After a twenty minute walk in silence, we finally reach the hospital.

"Could you please tell us in which room is Mr. Kendall Knight?"- Logan asks the secretary. She is blonde. She doesn't look american. She must be swedish.

She looked at us.

"Just a moment. But who are you?."

"His brothers." - I reply - "Logan and James Knight."

Logan looks at me surprised. His dark brown eyes... So beautiful...

"Your brother is in room..." - she sees someone and stops. - "Doctor! Doctor Rosalie!" - Doctor Rosalie is red-haired and has big blue eyes. - "How's the patient who entered an hour ago?"

"Reserved prognostic." - Oh no, it basically means death. Then she leaves.

"Let's follow her!" - Logan says to me and then we're running toward Doctor Rosalie, expecting that she leads us to Kendall.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Logan**_

"Doctor! Doctor Rosalie!" - we are getting close. She turns her face to us.

"Who are you?"

"Mr. Kendall Knight' brothers. He entered around an hour ago. I'm Logan and he's James. How's my brother?"

"Oh, I saw you in the reception. Rosalie Gomez. Pleasure." - she shakes our hands. - "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your brother is in coma..." - I can't handle it. Cheater's shoulder serves as my "crying spot". I don't know why am I crying on his shoulder. Maybe just to fuck his shirt. James starts crying for no reason. He had all the motives to be happy. Kendall's my new boyfriend and James is my ex. Since we broke up, I think James went mad with Kendall. I wonder why, James did the bad thing, Kendall didn't.

"He's going to wake up, right?" - Cheater Boy asks in tears.

"I don't know. Only time can say could take from minutes to a couple of months, or even..." - she starts getting away.

"Can we see him?" - I ask, interrupting her.

"Just from there." - she points a door. Me and James get in. She leaves. The little room has only a big window, from where we can see the patient who's in the next room. Kendall's sleeping in a bed. His eyes are closed. He has a sticker on his head.

"You know what happened?" - I ask Cheater Boy.

"No, I just received a call from the hospital." - I touch the window with my hand. Kendall's linked to some kind of machine which beeps from time to time. Cheater Boy touches my back.

"I've got to tell you something, Logan... Promise you'll believe me."

"Just say it!"

"Promise you will believe me."

"All right... I believe in you, James..."  
"Kendall lied. I really went to his apartment, but just because he phoned me to went there."

"That story again?"

"But before that..." - Cheater Boy hesitates and restarts crying - "I was the driver in Las Vegas. Carlos was a little drunk, so I offered myself to drive. Then some guys invited us to an illegal race in the desert and we accepted. We were winning, but our car fell in a ravine. I could get out in time, but Carlos couldn't. I told you and the police Carlos was the driver just to don't go to the jail..." - I slap him. He killed a friend of mine and lied about that for such a long time?

"I hate you, James Diamond. I hope you die soon." - He ignores my unhappy comment and continues his conversation.

"I don't know how Kendall discovered the truth, but he called me a few days ago saying to go to his house. I went and he said he would tell you the truth about Carlos' death if I didn't obey him. Then he tortured me and raped me. Twice. Just not three times because I push him in the graveyard and..."

"You are lying, Cheater Boy!" - I slap him twice.

"I can prove it!" - he pulls the bottom of his pants up. - "Kendall stabbed my legs with a knife!" - He takes his shirt off. - "And he also whipped my back! And he... HE TRYED TO RAPE ME ON CARLOS' CRAVE!"

"I'M SURE YOU'VE WHIPED AND STABBED YOURSELF! YOU LITTLE SON OF A..."

His lips. Covering mine. His warm lips. His naked warm chest. I'm between his arms. I love him. I can't hidden that. He pushed myself against the window.  
"We can't fuck here, James..." - I have a boyfriend dying a few meters far from here, but I don't love him. Kendall lied to me and did really bad things to James. I should have believed James Diamond from the beginning. I will broke up with Kendall when he wakes up and probably never talk to him again.

"Let's go to the car, Logan..." - he whispers.

When we were crossing the corridor, Doctor Rosalie saw us.

"Your brother woke up from the coma a few seconds ago, but... - our sex will have to wait. I want to punch Kendall first

Kendall's green eyes looked at mine's while me, James and Doctor Rosalie were entering the room.

"How dare you to look at me that way!" - I will punch him right now.

"Calm down, Logan!" - James pulls my arm.

"Who are you?" - Kendall asks. That motherfucker must be kidding me.

"Your brother has amnesia." - that explains everything. But I won't forget him. I will punch his perfect lips even if he doesn't know why. My body is just a few centimeters far from Kendall when James' arms catch me. I try to move. I can't. Those hours James spent in the gym where very worth.

"Stop, Logan. He can't remember anything." - he whispers. I can't believe in what James' saying. James should be very happy to see Kendall being punched. But he doesn't allow me to do that. Doctor Rosalie must be confuse. Five minutes ago I was very worried about Kendall. Now I'm trying to punch him.

"Let's talk in my office."

* * *

Doctor Rosalie's office is white. It has some shelves full with books, a _Mac_ and a big window from where you can see the whole skyline of L.A.

"He can't remember anything, right Doctor?" - I ask.

"Yes, but if you show him some photos of his friends or of your family, maybe he can recover his memory faster..." - she smiles. I small back, but I'm not happy. She looks at her mobile. - "I'm sorry, I have to leave. New patients will arrive soon." - she gets up and goes to the reception.

"What are we going to do, James?" - I ask him.

"I don't know, Logan..." - I hug him.

"How are your legs?"

"They hurt, but I can't do nothing about that." - he kisses my front - "But will you ever forgive him, Logan?"  
That's a difficult question. James should be mad with me, but he forgave me, the one who didn't believe him. The one who had sex with his best friend just to forget him.

"I don't think so..."

"Let's give him a chance, but..." - he stops - "This could sound a little... Strange... But what do you think if we just don't help him recovering his memory?"

"I don't understand."

"If he couldn't remember the past, then he couldn't remember he was in love with you or that he raped me twice. Then we would both be free."

"I like that idea..."

"But in exchange for that we should forgive him..." - I don't like that part. Forget the guy who stabbed my boyfriend and even raped him?

"Let's go and talk to Kendall..." - James says.

Kendall's reading comic book.

"Hi, Kendall..." - I start.

"Who are you?" - he asks for the second time in ten minutes.

"Your friends, Logan Mitchell and James Diamond" - James replys.

"Sorry, Kendall... Ten minutes ago I thought you were someone else..."

"It's ok." - he smiles. I have to control myself MUCH not to punch him right now and smash his teeth.

"You can't remember anything?" - James asks.

"No... Do I have any brothers?"

"No, Kendall. Me and Logan said you were our brother just to be able to see you. You have a sister named Katie."

"Where's she? Is she ok?" - Kendall asks worried.

"She's with your mother in Europe, but they don't know that you are in the hospital." - I reply.

"What are they doing there?"

"Katie and Mrs. Knight won a trip to Paris. We didn't contact them just to not ruin their vacation, but they should return next week" - James replys.  
"Hum... What are you reading?" - I ask, trying to switch the topic.

"It's a japanese comic about pirates which Doctor Rosalie brought me from the reception. _One Piece_. Pretty cool."

Me and James smile trying to pretend we are happy for him. I don't know about James, but I think I won't forgive Kendall so early.

"Doctor Rosalie told me that I will have to stay here for a few more days. Could you please buy me volume 2? I'm already finishing volume 1 and I don't have much to do here..."

"Sure." - I smile at him. A fake smile.- "But we have to leave now. We will return tomorrow, Kendall. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

* * *

"In twenty minutes? Ok, thank you. Have good day." - James turns the phone off. - "The trailer will be here in twenty minutes. Do you want to have a quick sex?"

Oh my, you are teasing me. Sex in the car? And even with time limit? I want to try it out!

"I miss our sex nights." - he kisses my lips. - "I had sex a few times with Kendall, but I were always dreaming about you those times, James." - he takes my pants off.

"I were always thinking about you too, Logan. I'll always love you, doesn't matter what happens." - he kisses my neck.

My legs are touching his. I can already feel his erection down my ass. I take his shirt off. Our socks are somewhere else. I don't care. I'm naked. He's too, but he has a condom covering his penis.

"Here I go." - he informs. He's inside me. It feels so good. I basically have the control by now. He can only fuck my ass if I do up and down movements with my body. James looks very happy.

"Am I hurting you?" - I ask looking at his wounded legs. I touch them.

"No, Logan." - he kisses my lips. He must be lying. His stabbed legs are carrying my whole weight.

"If I see just one tear coming out from your eyes I will stop." - he smiles and then I use my hands to hug his neck and I kiss his lips.


	10. Chapter 10

The sound of a trail coming interrupted our soft and slow sex.

"We should get dressed." - James said to me, stopping moving.

"Could you please help me get dressed, James?"

* * *

"Here we are... Finally at home, Logan..." - his apartment is now like new. There aren't any more shattered bottles or blood on the ground. There is also a new mirror and a new dinner table.

"I'm tired." - it's getting darker. It's almost night.

"Me too, Logiebear." - I love when he calls me that. The name my late mother used to call me.

"I'm going to sleep in your bed if you don't mind."

"But... How about dinner?"

"I'm not hungry..." - I start walking toward his bedroom.

"You should eat. As your boyfriend I'm responsible for your eating habits." - those words awake my sleepy brain. I love when James is worried about me. - "I'll feed you in the bed." - Oh my. Now I wont be able to sleep!

* * *

Like my previsions, I'm awake. I think James is cooking. He is not a good cooker, but love can transform a microwave freezed pizza into a gourmet meal. And just the pleasure to be here inside his bed... The sheets smell like James. A lovely smell. James slept here last night without shirt. I can feel the smell of his naked chest.

"Are you awake, Logiebear?" - he asks, entering his bedroom with a bowl between his fingers. He sits on the bed, next to me.  
"Yes. Because of you I wasn't able to sleep..." - I look at his brown and green eyes. He looked happy with my words. - "But, what are we going to eat?"

"Cereals. I left the spaghetti burn..." - I start laughing

"You will always be my favorite cooker, James..." - I smile.

"Do you really love me, Logan Mitchell?" - he asks worried. He puts the bowl on the little table next to the bed.

"That's not a question, James Diamond. Of course I love you. From the first day I met you in the beach."

"What do you feel about Kendall?"

"For my entire life, just friendship. Since today, after you told me what he did you, I hate him."

"But if you weren't in love with him, why did you have sex with him, Logan?"

"Just to forget you, but it didn't work." - I smile at him. He touches my hand and kisses my forehead.

"Let's eat."

A spoon filled with milk and sugared cereals enters my mouth.

"Those cereals aren't as sweeter as you are. You are the sugar of my life. My air. My blood. I don't have enough words to describe what I feel about you, Mr. Diamond..."

"I feel the same about you, Logiebear but, please, don't call me that. Mr. Diamond makes me feel old." - he smiles while I feed him. - "I can feel the taste of your lips in the spoon." - he licks his lips.

Another spoon enters my mouth.

"And I can feel your taste too." - I look at his lips again. There's some milk on them. I use my lips to clean it, like a vampire does to his victim. - "But if I brush my teeth or eat again the taste will disappear..."

"But I will be there to help you recover it. And your lips will help me when I need." - he looks at the bowl - "Now it's time to drink the milk."

He puts the bowl back to the table and kisses my neck. It will leave a mark. A naughty mark. James gets inside the sheets and takes his shirt out. I can feel his chest up me. His hands navigate through my clothes and take my shirt and pants off. His pants are next. Next I'm naked down him. His erection inside his gray Calvin Klein's is touching my body. Every single girl in the world would love to be here instead of me. Every single chick would love to have sex with James. James Diamond is perfect. But he's in love with me, the far from perfect guy who was antisocial during high school. The guy who lost his interest in life after his parents' death in a car crash gave him a fortune. I had a family. James has lived all his life in an orphanage. I had everything. James had basically nothing. James had to fight to get what he wanted. I just had to show my credit card.

"I don't deserve your love, James Diamond..." - I start crying. He hugs me.

"Don't cry, Logiebear..." - he whispers.- "Calm down... Why are you saying that? Why wouldn't you deserve my love?"

"Because I'm an horrible person! I had everything I wanted! Superficial things! And you lived all your childhood in an orphanage!" - I'm crying hard between his arms. - "And all you want is my love!"

"Calm down, Logan... I might lived my whole life without parents, but that's not your fault! I don't know what is having a father and mother. You know it. When your parents died you might have felt really sad. I never knew my parents, so I learned to how to live alone." - he hugs me. - "I love you." - he grabs my hand and makes it touch his chest. - "See? When I'm with you my heart goes crazy!" - he lefts my hand and touches my chest - "Your heart too, Logiebear."

I don't know what to say. I love him.

"Don't cry..." - he kisses my forehead - "You deserve my love, as I hope to deserve your's..."

"I'm sorry... I'm confused... I still don't know how could Kendall rape you..."

"That's past. Don't talk about it."

"Can we make love, James?"

"Promise you will stop saying that you aren't good enough for me."

"I promise."

He kisses my chest. He touches my hair. James' lips kiss my stomach. His hands take off his grey Calvin Klein's and put a green condom on, covering his erection. It smells like mint. Our eyes are synchronized. Our bodies too.

* * *

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty..." - James kisses my forehead - "It's almost eleven o'clock..."

"Good morning, James..." - I kiss his lips back. - "I was dreaming about you... I would love to know how the dream ends, but I prefer the real-life James..." - he smiles.

James gets up.

"Do you want to take a shower with me?" - he asks.

"I would love to." - I follow him toward his bathroom.

We were already naked, so we just entered the shower cabin.

"Your ass still smells like mint." - James smiles. He was rubbing my back.

"And your penis too..." - I smile at him. What a naughty comment.

James lets the sponge fall down and grabs me with his lips.

"Your hair is perfect, Logan..." - his hands were washing it. He can see my hair, but the only thing I can see is his perfectly muscled right arm.

"I like your hair too..." - It's my turn to wash him - "And your pubic hair is also perfect."

Twenty minutes later we were both leaving his apartment. James was wearing a confident red shirt saying "obey" and a pair of jeans. I was wearing some clothes James was planning to give me on my birthday, but since I needed clean clothes... A grey hoodie saying "you said there would be more days like this" and a pair of green pants were my outfit.

"We have to stop in a library to buy Kendall that book." - James remembers me.


	11. Chapter 11

"I'm back." - I enter James' car, which now has a new tier. In the plastic bag I have between my fingers there's the book Kendall ordered.

"Do you prefer to go to the hospital first or do you want to go somewhere else?" - James asks.

"Let's go to visit Kendall and later we could go out and have lunch."

"All right, to the hospital." - James presses the accelerator.

"Don't you have to work tonight?" - I ask him.

"I phoned my boss saying to switch some days of my vacations, so I have three more days to be with you." - he smiles.

The lights change from green to red and my boyfriend stops the car. A vehicle behind us starts to horn. I open the window and I look at the dark metallic limousine.

"That some kind of Angelina Jolie must be late for something..." - I say and James smiles.

"Yeah, but she will have to wait..."

The lights change back to green. The limousine accelerates and exceeds us, nearly provoking a car crash.

"Is that motherfucker crazy?!" - James says loudly.

I look at the back of the limousine. There's someone inside it and certainly is not Angelina Jolie. I can see a shadow of a guy with short hair, like Carlos used to have. Carlos...

"Are you all right, Logiebear?" - James looks at me worried.

"Yes, I'm fine... It must be from the air pollution..." - I lie.

It can't be Carlos. Carlos is dead. Carlos died in a car crash two years ago.

* * *

"Now I understand why Doctor Rosalie wanted Kendall to stay here for a few more days..." - I say to James while I remove my eye from the tiny keyhole of Doctor Rosalie's cabinet.

"Why, Logiebear?"

"Just see with your own eyes..."

Kendall and Doctor Rosalie where both naked. She was up her table, and Kendall was up her.

"Isn't that illegal to a doctor having sex with a patient?"

"Kendall seems to be enjoying..." - I grab his hand. - "Let's just leave the book on his bed and then we could go somewhere else..."

We were leaving the hospital when I receive a call from Kendall.

"Hey Logie, thanks for the book! I have great news! Could you please come here?"

"Sure."

Kendall was already dressed in regular clothes.

"Doctor Rosalie told me I could leave! Isn't that great?"

"Yes, it is, Kendall!" - No, it is not. Now I can't be with James when I want because Kendall Knight is there. He hugs me.

"You can leave, but for the first days you should have someone to take care of you." - Doctor Rosalie says while she enters the room. Dammit! Is she going to ask us to do that? - "And as you are his brothers..." - Holy fuck! She asked!

"Yes, he could stay at my house." - what the hell am I saying? He deserves to die under a bridge!

"Okay. Kendall when you leave you will have to sign a paper." - she leaves.

"Don't you think she has got a beautiful butt, James?" - Kendall asks.

James looks at me, without knowing what to say.

"Yes, she has..." - James replys. I know he loves me, so I don't get mad.

"I didn't ask you, Logan, because the other day you looked me a little gay..." - I'm offended. I love James, but I don't consider myself as a drag queen.

"Your sister never said anything bad about me in bed..." - I reply, lying. James knows I would never have sex with someone of Katie's age.

* * *

"You can sleep here in the sofa. I will sleep in my bedroom and James sleeps in the guest's room." - I inform Kendall. I hope James dislikes the guest's bed so he sleeps with me.

"Stay here, Kendall. We will go to your house and brought you some clothes."

Kendall sits on the sofa and turns on the TV.

"I can't stand him!" - I say to James while we enter his car. - "Now I still have to take care of him! That Doctor Rosalie of shit couldn't just do that? She looked very happy while she was getting fucked!"

"It's just for a few days, then he will leave and we could be together again..." - James calms me and kisses my lips.

* * *

"Maybe this blue shirt here?" - I ask while touching Kendall's clothes inside his wardrobe.

"Yes, maybe."

I kiss James and push him toward Kendall's large bed. He pushes me up of him.

"Sorry, I can't make love with you, Logiebear. Not here on this bed. This was where Kendall tortured and raped me." - he starts crying. I hug him. - "It was horrible. Being raped twice by one of my best friends. He used a rope. He controled my breathing. He stabbed me. Kendall was always saying it was my fault, that because of me you were not a virgin anymore and that his desire was having your virginity... But you aren't able to choose a person to fall in love with." - I hug him harder. It's hard to believe James is talking about the same Kendall who used to be my best childhood friend. He has changed so much. Kendall Knight I met when I were four years old was a nice Kendall. We used to play at my old house. I was Batman, he was Spider Man. When we were both irresponsible teens, we went to a party and got our first drunk together. A few days later, he confessed he was in love with me and tried to kiss me. I told him I wasn't in love but that we could still be best friends. Since that day, Kendall changed a lot. He started smoking and drinking almost everyday. He became violent, but I still continued to be his friend. When he almost went to school drunk, I told him to stop doing those things. He listened to my words. But when we met James in a bar in Venice Beach, Kendall became jealous, but he slowly accepted our relationship.

"He's a psycho. Let's run, James. Let's move to another country. There we can be happy together and Kendall would never be a problem."

"We can't, Logiebear. You have your whole life here."

"My whole life? Basically I only have you, James, and you would escape with me!"

Why is James so responsible and worried about stuff I don't care? I would even move to Iceland if he came with me!

"But... Kendall is with amnesia. He can't remember anything, Logan..."

"He can recover his memory at any time!"

"And he is with amnesia because of me! I have to help him!"

"Kendall tried to rape you in a graveyard! Why do you care about him? He deserved to die!"

"You just say those horrible things because you are rich! If you had to fight to get whatever you wanted you would care about the others! My childhood dream was having a family! Your daily drama was basically deciding which sneakers you would use! You are so selfish, Logan Mitchell!"

"You think I am selfish, James Diamond?"

James looks at me for a few moments in silence.

"I'm sorry, Logiebear. You are not selfish. You bought me an apartment when I couldn't pay for a rent and every year you give some of your time and money to charity. And you are right about Kendall. It's against the education I had in the orphanage, where they teached me to give everyone a second chance, but why should I help someone who raped me?"

"Why do we argue so much?" - I hug him. I can't be far away from him. I love him. I still want more kisses from his sweet and hot lips.  
"Because the idea of a perfect relationship is an illusion. Perfect couples don't exist..."

"Promise we will never be far away from each other and that this was our last argument."

"I promise."

"Seal it with a kiss for the eternity." - his tonge inside my mouth. Oh, my. How is it possible to love someone so much? My thoughts are always about him since the first time we met during a summer night of July in a bar. He basically controls my life and feelings.

"Are you tired, James?" - I ask, resisting to his lips for a few moments.

"I never get tired of loving you..." - he kisses me again.

"Do you think you can drive to Venice Beach? I want to come back to that bar where we met..."

"I think I can, but where are we going to sleep? I shouldn't drive sleepy or drunk..."

"We will sleep there. I don't want to think about problems. I just want to be with you. And I think Kendall is still able to order a pizza..."

* * *

"It is still the same smell... The summer smell... The smell from the place where you first kissed me... Near the sea... With the stars observing us..." - I say, stepping the sand with my shoeless feet. He hugs me from back and kisses me.

"Remember the bar where we met? It's the blue one with painted waves..." - James points at a little building.

"Of course I remember... You took me out of there because I wasn't feeling well and Kendall was somewhere else and we couldn't find him..." - Holy shit. I shouldn't have mentioned him.

James looks at the dark sky.

"Do you want to go inside and ask for the same drinks we ordered four years ago? I hope you can still remember of what you were drinking when we met..." - Shit! I have no idea of what I was drinking! The only thing I can remember is that James' lips were sweet as they are since our first kiss...

"It's a tequilla, please." - James asks the barman. Now I can remember. Tequilla. That's what I was drinking. - "Now it's your turn. Which drink was I drinking?" - James asks me. I have no idea.

"I can't remember, James... I can only remember that your lips were really sweet as they are today..." - I bit my lip. I've ruined our moment.

James puts the glass of tequilla on the table. His mouth gets closer to my ear.

"Don't bit your lip, Logiebear... You can't remember what I was drinking because when you met me I still hadn't drink anything..." - he kisses my ear. Thank God. Luck is on my side.

We sit on a modern table. James touches my hair.  
"What did you feel the first time you saw me, Logan Mitchell?" - how suggestive. First time. I was a virgin, that's true.

"I don't know how I would feel. That first moment when my eyes saw you..." - I whisper - "Your existence changed my life... Forever..."

James kisses my lips. The lights of the club make it difficult to identify the color of his eyes. But they are brown and green. I know them.

"Drink it quickly" - James orders. I grab the glass of the mexican tequilla and drink it in a few moments.

"Let's go to the beach, James..." - I put the glass back in the table and James puts some money on the table.

We took our sneakers off for the second time. James sits on the sand, near the sea and I sit next to him. I touch his hand with mine. His eyes look at me.

"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" - he asks me.

"Yes, it is..." - I put my head on his shoulder. His delicious lips touch mine. I leave his lips. - "But it would be even better if we..."

James Diamond understands my words and kisses my lips. He touches my chest while he removes my hoodie. Then I can feel his naked chest up me. Later, he stops moving, kissing and teasing my body.

"Let's go there..." - James' finger points at a place between some rocks. It's about six meters far away from here - "There we could have more privacy..." - he smiles at me. A naughty smile. Oh, my.

Our "private spot" is beautiful. It has some palm trees, it's not viewable from the streets of Venice Beach and we can feel the calm waves touching our feet.

James continues taking our clothes off. He removes my green pants and the white t-shirt I had down my grey hoodie. His jeans are already on the sand too. He touches my ass and slowly removes my boxers.

"You are my magician..." - I said to him, looking at his magical eyes.

"I could be a magician, but you are the bunny that comes out of the hat..." - he kisses my neck with his harm and sweet lips - "We complete each other's world..." - James removes his dark red Playboy boxers, exhibiting his big erection. I hug his back straight, touching his warm skin with mine. He still has the marks of Kendall's whip. Poor James...

"Which flavour this time?" - I ask him, looking at his fingers and waiting to see them grabbing the condom he's going to use. James touches my legs, opening them.

"Natural..." - he enters inside me. Oh, my... It feels even better... I haven't felt his naked penis inside me since our first time in the elevator... And that time I was too much worried to think about if it feels better with a condom or without it...

James presses his body against mine one more time. His lips too. I can feel the sand touching my back and the grains infiltrating in my hair. James kisses my ear and enters again.

"I'm crazy for you, Logan Mitchell..."

I kiss his lips and hug his neck.

* * *

I wake up with a sweet flavour in my lips. James. He's the guilty. I open my eyes and he's looking at me. I look at the sky behind him. It's still dark and the stars are still looking at us.

"I'm sorry to woke you up, but I wanted to see the dawn with you..."

"It's all right..." - I smile at him.

"Come here." - I obey him. It must be around half past six in the morning. The sky is getting lighter blue, but the sun is still hidden. I put my head on his chest. James is almost full dressed, but he is shirtless. I should get dressed too, but I will wait until the sun gets out.

"I forgot to tell you this, but yesterday when you were in the bookstore I received this message with the results of my AIDS test." - James picks his mobile and shows it to me. _Mr. James Diamond, your AIDS test result is negative. Have a good day_.

"That's excellent news! How could you forget to tell me that?" - I hug him. I'm very happy for him. And for me too. - "That's why you didn't use a condom, right?"

"Yes. Before the results arrived I used a condom every time we had sex because I didn't want you to risk your life."

"Correction: we didn't have sex. We made love..." - he was going to kiss my lips but he looked at the sky and stopped.

"It's time." - he smiles and pulls me to his arms.

The sun started to elevate in the sky, turning the dark night into a shining morning.


	12. Chapter 12

"Gorgeous..." - I say, looking at the morning sky and then to James. His eyes are still observing the sun.

"You are more..." - he looks at me, smiling.

"No, I'm not. I'm really far from perfection..." - that's true - "But you..." - James looks like a porn star. Beautiful smile, perfect body, excellent words.

"You think I am perfect?" - he laughs - "Nobody's perfect, Logan Mitchell, not even a greek god."

James is not greek. He's american. James' my American God.

"If you're not perfect, then nobody is, James Diamond." - I remember the first time we went to the beach together. There were some girls who were always looking at James and I heard one of them saying "God bless America" when she saw him coming out from the water all wet.

"Just understand this, Logiebear. We are perfect for each other." - he hugs me - "And nobody can change that."

The sound of steps in the sand announced that I should get dressed. It's still May and it's around seven and thirty in the morning, but some people are here to relax before they go to their workplace or to the school. I understand them. If I lived here I would do the same.

"I'll be right back. I will get dressed in that WC." - I point at a little house twelve meters from our "Secret Spot". It looks tiny, but it's in the opposite direction of the sun bathing people.

I start running toward the little wood house, hoping a cop doesn't see me, because I don't want to get arrested. I push the door and get in. I start dressing my white t-shirt and my boxers. Then I look to the front and I see James' head.

"Hello, cute lamb. I'm the bad wolf and I'm here to eat you." - James howls, imitating a real-life wolf.

"No, James. I should get dre..." - I can't resist when he bits my neck with his lips. His hands remove my boxers and slap my butt.

"I think I'm going to start from there, cute lamb..." - Oh, my. I can't believe I'm going to have sex in a public place.

James kisses the bottom of my back and slowly moves to the butt. He touches my stomach his his fingers. Then my balls. Oh, my. I think I have an erection. James starts doing up and down movements with my penis between his fingers. Yes, I really have a bulge. I touch his head and press my lips to his. He gets his mouth released to remove my shirt and I remove his pants. Then I release myself from his arms and I push him to the ground. I sit on his legs, with my ass right on that place, feeling a red-boxer covered high cliff down my butt. James pulls me to his naked chest and locks me between his arms. Bad wolf bits cute lamb's neck with his lips again.

I get out of his legs and touch his high cliff with my fingers. I remove his underwear and kiss his erection. I put it in my mouth. It fills the entire. I start doing up and down movements. I can feel his gland touching my throat. My tongue licks it all. It's all wet and has a salty flavour. I'm very lucky because I'm able to pleasure the person I most love in the entire universe. James enjoys it. His eyes are closed and his lips are producing orgasmic sounds while his hands are pressing my mouth against bad wolf's big erection.

A little of salty juice is released from his cock's head directly in my mouth. James removes me from his sex and pulls my lips against his in submission. Now he's is licking his own cum from my mouth. Oh my.

James' dominant eyes glare at me. When we're having sex, "making love", as he says, he looks different, like a vampire thirsty for his victim's blood. But James doesn't want my blood. He wants my love and my body. It's like an alter-ego. James Diamond is cute, lovely and a little shy. James Sexy Diamond is confidant, dominant and is always horny for me.

James Sexy Diamond gets back me. With his arms he makes me put mine and my shoulders on the ground. My butt is in front of him, just for him. He touches my legs, opening them a little, for being easier. He licks his fingers and enter them. Two at once. He enters them and removes his fingers quickly.

It doesn't hurt much. James' erection is much bigger.

"I'm going in." - he informs my ears with his sexy voice.

He puts his penis inside me. I bit my lip. I've never had sex with him in this position, so it hurts a little. But I can stand it. For him.

His warm body is contacting with mine from behind.

"Let me rock you a little more, Logiebear..." - his hands switch my position. Now I'm with my open legs in front of him. My favorite position.  
His brown and sexy pubic hair is touching my skin while he enters and removes his sex from my body. I don't have much pubic hair and the little I have is dark like the night.

James Sexy Diamond moves my legs, making them hug his waist. This way my legs are more open and the penetration's much easier. He presses his body against mine with lips included. He makes a deeper foray. I hug his neck, almost stopping his breathing and he ejaculates inside me.

* * *

Already with James Diamond and with both of us dressed, we went to a café near the beach to have breakfast.

"I could wait a little longer, James. I'm not hungry yet..." - I say to him, putting a little part of my chocolate cake slice in my mouth. I still have a little of his salty flavour.

"Yes, you could wait, but them you won't to be able to spend the whole morning with me." - he smiles. James Sexy Diamond is surely off.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it, James Sexy Diamond?" - I ask him. There are almost no clouds in the sky. It's like a summer day.

"What did you call me? James Sexy Diamond?" - he laughs - "Now I have a nickname too, Logiebear?"

"It's your _alter-ego's_ name." - I explain to him - "When we were in the WC and almost every time we made love you looked different. Dominant and confident. I love that part of you and as you are sexy every time you do something, from eating to making love, I call that part of you James Sexy Diamond."

He laughs hard.

"Everyone has a little of bipolarity..." - he smiles - "I am bipolar when I'm going to make love with you. You are bipolar when you don't know what to do, specially when you are mad with me..." - that's true.

"I can't control it..." - I look at my reflection in the cup of tea. I have no idea why am I drinking it. I don't even like tea. My hair's a mess. Just-fucked hair. James' is also a little like mine, but he's shorter, so mine is really worst.

"I can't control it too, Logiebear..." - he touches my face and I glare at his brown and green eyes - "The image you have of me is that I'm always horny, right?"

"A little..." - I agree.

"You know that if you don't want to make out you just need to tell me and I will stop on that exactly moment."

"I know..." - I use the spoon to distort my reflexion on the green-tea. I don't know why I feel sad. I'm having breakfast with the person I most love in the entire universe, James Diamond.

"Are you alright, Logan?" - he asks.

"I don't know... I'm very happy for being with you, but... I don't know... I have a strange feeling..."

"Maybe it's because you hadn't slept enough." - he smiles - "Today we will return to L.A. and there you can sleep the whole time you want..."

"No, James... I don't wanna return to Los Angeles! Kendall's there! Let's stay here for a few more days!" - I'm in panic - "Kendall will stay at my house for a few more days, then he could leave! Please! If I have to return to my house then let it be when he's not there!"

"I don't want to return too, but Mrs. Knight and Katie will arrive this week and it would be a little strange if Kendall was at your house alone!"  
That makes sence. Couldn't they just wait a few more days?

* * *

After a fantastic morning in Venice Beach, James parked his car in my garage in the middle of the afternoon and we both went to my apartment. Kendall must be there and I don't want to see him. That night in Venice Beach was marvelous. I don't want to be back because I will have to see Kendall's face the whole afternoon and for a few more days.

I hope my apartment had been robbed and the burglars had taken Kendall with then or maybe killed him in the middle of my living room.

"Finally! Where are my clothes?" - Fuck. Kendall's still alive. The TV is still on. There's some king of movie awards airing on it.

"Right here." - James gives him a backpack - "There are some shirts,pants and a pair of sneakers."

* * *

After half an hour of shitty movie stars receiving their awards, James sneezes. Thank God. An opportunity to leave Kendall watching TV for a few more hours.

"I don't have more aspirin. Let's go out a buy you some." - I get up the sofa. I have two or three boxes of aspirin in the kitchen. I just want to get out.

"I will go with you." - James offers.

"Do you want his ass, James? You're always with him!" - Kendall says looking at James and me.

"Of course I don't! I'm not gay! Eh... I'm not feeling very well. I will stay here." - Shit. To keep our relationship secret I will have to go out alone.

With a bag from the pharmacy between my left hand's fingers, I enter my building. My apartment's door is open. I enter. Nobody's there. Not James, not Kendall. The TV's screen is broken in pieces in the middle of the carpet. There's blood on it. Oh no. There's a piece of paper on the ground.

_"Hello, Logan._  
_It's me, Kendall. Don't worry about James, he's with me. I will kill him somewhere and then I will be back to be happy with you. You can see some blood on the carpet. Don't worry. James just didn't want to go with me so I stabbed him. I don't want you to know where I took him because seeing a dead body can be dramatizing, but money is what you've got most, right? So you could go to an expensive psychiatrist. By the way, I destroyed your passport, credit card and laptop, but just for precaution._  
_Both you haven't helped me recover my memory, but remember those shitty movie awards on TV? Carlos Garcia was there. Yes, the same Carlos that James almost killed in Vegas. He received the prize for best secondary actor. I didn't even know he was alive. Now I can remember everything we've done together. Disney World, New York, Miami,..._  
_See you soon, my love,_  
_Kendall Knight_  
_PS: I've signed this letter with James' blood."_


	13. Chapter 13

No, it's not possible. This must be for a tv show or something like that. This red liquid on the sheet of paper and carpet have to be paint. Kendall and James went to the movies and they will return in a few minutes. Or the sound of James' voice on the phone will tell me they will bring chinese food for dinner. It can't be true. I should be having a nightmare. At any time I will wake up and meet them again in my living room. James will smile at me and Kendall will still have amnesia.

I don't know what to do. I'm in panic. That letter was not an April Fool's day joke because we are in the final days of May. If at least James was here with me... Kendall could have taken all my money, flat, car, basically everything I had, but he chose to affect me from the inside by stealing the other half of me, my energy, my cause of living, my soul-mate, James Diamond.

I get up. I step on something and I fall on the ground again. Like a metaphor. When I was up, Kendall was down with amnesia. Now he could get up by making me feel desperate and sending me down.

The little thing down my feet is a little blue box, which now is basically in pieces, but it still opens. It has a ring inside. A golden one with a J and a L silvery written on it. Oh no. J from _James_, L from_ Logan_. James was going to propose me. And Kendall destroyed his chance.

I clean my face from my salty-tears. I kiss his silvery J and put the ring in my t-shirt's pocket, right next to my heart. James wouldn't want me to cry. Crying is what he must be doing by now, if Kendall hadn't already killed him. James has reasons to cry. He is surely being tortured by Kendall somewhere else in this planet. And I'm crying for this. I have to rescue James from Kendall, like he rescued me from my own fears on that dinner some weeks ago... His actions while we were in the elevator changed the course of my life...

For two years of relationship I refused to have sex because I had the idea I wasn't ready yet. James wanted it so much that when he tried in the elevator, I let him finish. I'm not regretful. To be honest, I should have let James done it earlier...

_"You look very good, Logiebear..." - James' voice a few weeks ago greeted me while I entered his car._

_"You look very good too..." - I greeted him with a kiss. - "Where are we going to have dinner? You told me to wear at least a blazer, and here I am, in a tuxedo..."_

_"Surprise." - he smiled at me. James' dark blue blazer fitted his body perfectly._

_James took me to a french restaurant in a fifth floor, so we went by elevator._

_"I have a reservation. James Diamond." - James told the host.  
_  
_"Welcome, Mr. Diamond. Your table's this way." - she replied.  
_  
_She took us to a small table separated from the others by a biombo. The restaurant is all Paris-themed. Our table is in the Moulin Rouge area and has a red towel like the others of this zone.  
_  
_"C'est un plat de..." - James started saying to the waiter with a terrible french accent. I laughed. It was funny._  
_"I'm sorry, I don't..." - the waiter replied afraid.  
_  
_"Don't worry, I don't speak french too. I checked for it in a dictionary." - James smiled - "But as we are in Paris... Anyway, for the first plate... Oysters with chocolate, please. For both of us."  
_  
_"Sure."  
_  
_"You know both oysters and chocolate are aphrodisiac?" - James asked me when the waiter left. Aphrodiwhat?  
_  
_"I don't know the meaning of that word..."  
_  
_"Aphrodisiac means that it makes you..." - James hesitated - "Come here..." - he got his mouth near my ear - "Horny..." - his leg moved around mine, like a stripper would do around a pole for fifty bucks, turning me on.  
_  
_"No, James." - I got released from his eyes. - "You know I love you, but..."  
_  
_"You are twenty-one, Logan! Are you going to wait until when? Until you are forty?"  
_  
_"No, James. I don't think I am ready yet, please give me a little more time..."_

_"There's not a right age or moment, Logan. I were fifteen when I lost my virginity. No, it was not perfect, very far from that. Both me and the girl had no experience." - he crossed his brown and green serious eyes with mine - "But with practice it got better with the time. Think about your first kiss. How old were you?"  
_  
_"Nineteen."  
_  
_"Wow, a little late... I gave my first real kiss when I were fourteen... But how was it?"  
_  
_"Special... Romantic... It was like having butterflies moving inside my stomach..."  
_  
_"And about her? Was she happy?"  
_  
_"I think so, but it wasn't with a girl... The first person who kissed my virgin lips were you, James..."  
_  
_He looked lost at his glass of wine, like if his soul had been stolen.  
_  
_"I wasn't expecting that... I felt you a little nervous, but..."  
_  
_The waiter arrived with the chocolate covered oysters.  
_  
_"Don't worry, James. Our first kiss was perfect. About my virginity, I want to lose it with you. I think it's an advantage that you are experienced."  
_  
_"But, Logan..." - James drinks a little of his Amboise wine. - "I'm afraid your first kiss wasn't what you were expecting... And it's a big responsibility to be your first sexual partner..."  
_  
_"Why are you saying those things? Some minutes ago you were saying I shouldn't wait to have sex!"  
_  
_"I didn't know I was the first one who kissed you... I thought you had a little more experience than the one you acquired with these two years of relationship..."  
_  
_I look at him confuse.  
_  
_"I think you shouldn't spend the two more special moments of your life with someone who had experience of some years, Logan."_  
_"What are you saying? James, I love you. I want to stay with you for the rest of my life." - I grabbed his hand and putted it on my chest - "Being experienced is not bad for me. That way you already know what to do..."  
_  
_"But, Logiebear... I... I'm afraid of hurting you..." - James looked down. - "I don't know your limits, or even mine... Since I first met you and discovered I was in love with you I hadn't had sex... And it was two years ago..."  
_  
_"I'm sure when our time arrive you will know what to do and how to pleasure a virgin like me without hurting..." - I ate my oysters with chocolate, my aphrodisiac first plate. He ate his too._  
_After eating our second plate, Ratatouille and our dessert, Strawberry Savarin, James paid for our dinner and took me to the elevator, changing my life, forever, and without a restart button.  
_  
This memories make me cry. I wonder what Kendall's doing to him. Kendall... Why couldn't you just accept our relationship? And Carlos... James almost killed you in Vegas, but you're alive... Why didn't you just phoned me to say you're alright? You became an actor... You earned a prize for a fantastic role you played in a movie I haven't even seen... I feel alone... I have no one with me... And I still have to tell Katie and Mrs. Knight the truth about Kendall... How am I going to tell a mother that her son raped one of his best friends and tortured him and that he wrote a letter saying he was going to kill him? And Katie... You're still a kid... You shouldn't even know about sex stuff...

I enter my black _Porsche_ and put my_ Ray-Ban_'s on. As I turn the motor on and the garage gate opens, I exercise my fingers on the steering wheel. I'm not used to drive. James has basically been my _chauffeur_ since I met him, but I have the license. I press the accelerator and I enter in one of Los Angeles' rare rainy days.

_Wish You Were Here_ by Avril Lavigne, how appropriated... I try to turn off the radio but, suddenly, my fingers freeze as my tears start to fall on my pants, copying the rain that falls on the road in the other side of the window.

_And I remember all those crazy things you said_  
_You left them running through my head_  
_You're always there, you're everywhere_  
_But right now I wish you were here_  
_All those crazy things we did_  
_Didn't think about it just went with it_  
_You're always there, you're everywhere_  
_But right now I wish you were here_

I stop the car near Kendall's building. I knock at his door. How stupid I am. This would be the most obvious place in the world to hidden James in! They must have gone somewhere else...

"What happened, boy?" - Kendall building's doorman, Mr. Drake, asks me as he sees some tears on my face.  
"Nothing..."

"Women are difficult to understand... You've made something she didn't like, right?"

"I don't wanna talk about that..." - how am I going to explain a sixty year-old man that I'm in love with another guy and that Kendall's going to kill the man I love? I can't tell him... - "Have you seen Kendall? The guy from the second floor?"

"No, I haven't seen him in a few days... You're his friend, right? Your face seems familiar to me..."

"Yes, I am..." - No, Kendall's not my friend since the moment he treated James - "I haven't seen him in a couple of days too... I'm a little worried about him..."

"Have you tried to phone him?"

"No, I haven't. I will try it. Have a good day, Mr. Drake."

I return to my car. Why should I phone Kendall? He wouldn't tell me anything!

I turn on the radio again. The rain is still falling from the clouds. My clothes are a little wet, but the sits' heater will dry them quickly. My hair is a mess. Just like my life.

Maybe Mr. Drake's suggestion isn't a bad idea. It sounds stupid, but it might make Kendall give up and it's the only option I have.

I look for Kendall's number, between one hundred of different contacts. I have lots of shops' numbers which I don't even go to. Finally I reach his profile. His picture was taken in a party. He was smiling and half drunk. When I was going to press the green calling icon, the screen turns black and the phone starts to vibrate. An anonymous call...


End file.
